RantingWomen.com Women’s Blog

I hope I’m not the only woman here who ever did a workout, then plopped down at a desk with a tall cup of latte and a pack of smokes… because that’s what I just did. (Did I mention panting?)

I recently realized that it’s been FIVE years since I broke out my yoga duds and hit the wide open floor space to dance, bend, stretch and work my abs. Too easy… too easy to forget, as a working woman and mother, that forty-something is just around the corner… and my legs, though still slim, are definitely not the legs of the beach girl I used to be. Forty has come and gone, and here I am, with not a ripple beneath my skin that speaks of muscle. Where did it go?

So - it’s not New Years Day, but by gosh, it’s time for a resolution. I cannot complete my forthieth year without making at least a feeble attempt to regain my youthful splendor. Maybe I can be like one of those California women… you know, little gold sandals, toe rings, and tight muscles under thinning skin - bronzed, of course, in a tanning bed. Nah. I’ll shoot more for a gracefully aging southern lady, carefully shielded from the sun to avoid cancer, and sassy anyway.

Whatever the end result, I’m starting today, girlfriends, getting this ole body back to whatever it can still be.

This might be a good place to use Steve Pavlini’s Micro-tasking. He recommends making a very, very detailed list of what must be done, to the point that once you look at every detailed step, it seems quite easy, broken down that way. Here goes:

1. Drink pineapple juice every morning, fresh from the blender with coconut milk, and include that nasty multi-vitamin I bought the other day - supposedly chewable. Even the dog won’t eat it.

2. Go to work. Do all the usual stuff. Feed the fish. Don’t drink coffee.
(Oh my god! Did you catch that last part?)

3. Come home from work. Clean up the house so I can tolerate living here.

4. Go to desk, boot up computer and put timer on. Yes, the timer; otherwise, I’ll just sit there all night, scanning web sites, planning my next brilliant maneuver, and letting those old muscles curl up and die some more.

5. Keep tall glass of water handy - room temperature so I don’t go into shock and end up in an emergency room. Drink at least three of these really tall glasses before the day is done.

6. Okay, enough procrastination. By 8pm, be in the yoga duds (yeah, they still fit). Put on some REM or INXS, get those teenage memories rolling back, and get this bag of bones back in the groove.

7. Find lost mojo.

8. Take long hot bath and accept feelings of guilt for having the lit cigarette on the rim of the claw foot tub. Stamp out cigarette and pretend I will be quitting soon.

9. Stand in front of mirror and note any changes or improvements. Perhaps this new program will also cause wrinkles to retreat from corners of eyes?

10. Savor the victory of one day of correct behavior. Fall asleep immediately due to lack of caffeine and exercise exhaustion.

11. Write articles in near future about exercise, able to speak truthfully about my own participation in the activity.

Okay - so there it is. All neatly broken down into micro-tasks. I think I can do that. I used to be quite religious about it. In fact, I’ll consult my mother to ask if there is a patron saint for the project, because a few prayers wouldn’t hurt.

Anne Pierson, Editor, fitness guru, seeker of lost mojo, slave to nicotine…

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